16-22 May 2016 and this year focuses on relationships
#mhaw16
Our mental health is improved by a supportive network of family and friends – the people in our lives that add to our feeling of well-being.
The effect other people have on us is much stronger than the effects of diet and exercise on our mental well-being, it can help us flourish and grow as an individual or crush us. Those in toxic relationships or where one feels helpless suffer as a consequence. This week we can thank all those people who have supported, listened and helped in times of trouble.
I personally had a fantastic supportive family around me when growing up, a huge network of all ages, from grandparents and their siblings, my parents and their cousins and siblings, down to a vast community of people who had known each other for years. But as a therapist I recognise many are not as lucky as myself.
When I first started working with someone with brain damage, to help them overcome agoraphobia and fear of the dark; he asked me how other people overcame serious head injuries. I answered that if they had a supportive family then that would help speed the process up. As it turned out he was estranged from his family because he was abused as a child and when he was in his teens his best friend committed suicide and he turned to drinking to cope with the pain. Having borderline personality disorder because of the abuse, he was unable to cope with the lack of support. He ended up in a psychiatric ward, where a dangerous schizophrenic befriended him. On release he moved in with her and she attacked him on numerous occasions, which resulted in his near death.
So good mental health starts at birth, babies born to mothers with post natal depression are more likely to suffer with illness and complications surrounding their relationship building, often for life.
- Fred* was in his 60’s when he came to see me, to try and overcome his feeling of being let down and betrayed by a mother who suffered severe depression.
- Simon* was a colonel in the army, who had joined the army as early as possible to escape the poor relationship with his father. He always felt he had to prove himself, and despite being very good at his job, having served in Iraq and Afghanistan he still had issues with his father. As he had children of his own, he was determined not to repeat history.
- Mary* has to come to terms with her mentally ill husband of 40 years. His psychotic episodes frighten and frustrate her, although there is no escape there is no one else to support her as they never had children. The only thing that helps her cope and stops her drinking too much are regular sessions of hypnotherapy and a therapist she can relate to. She had been in Jungian analysis for 5 years but it had made things worse, so the solution focused approach has helped her focus on the things that help her cope and let the psychiatric team and carers deal with her husband’s mental illness.
Isolation is our brains worst enemy; we have evolved to be in a pack, a troop, a community. Our ability to recognise that joined as a mass has helped us to become the predominant species on this planet. It developed cities, writing, languages and religion. Those who regularly meet up with people who can share ideas, beliefs and values help us blossom into well-rounded and happy individuals. Those who are anti-social and don’t have a wide network of people around them are much more likely to suffer with mental illness and are more likely to die earlier.
Thank those today who help you keep sane and if you know someone who lives on their own, why not pay them a visit.
* Not their real names to protect their privacy.
Disclaimer:
Hypnotherapy is effective, however results may vary and success in not guaranteed. Full client commitment is important. Please read FAQ’s for more details.
Penny Ling is a widely experienced hypnotherapist who has worked with everyone from top executives to stroke victims since 2007. She has been editor of Hypnotherapy Today Magazine and is a supervisor and mentor for members of the AfSFH and NCH.
Read Penny’s inspiring story “How I beat all my phobias”, or find out more how hypnotherapy could help your problem by downloading “How Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help with life”. Feel free to send Penny a message here.
