Avoid unnecessary conflict, by not being too argumentative.
It is better for everyone involved to look for a resolution to a dispute where both parties can achieve a positive outcome. If you find out what the real cause of the problem is, deal with it in a way both parties are happy.
When we are stressed we can “lose it” too easily, if it’s an argument with a partner, find by experiment the best way to calm things down.
Sometimes I see people who are having a problem with anxiety, and as they improve the relationship changes, making the person more independent. The other responds by becoming more clingy and arguments happen. One such client was having to deal with a partner who was stressed herself but wouldn’t do anything about it. She would scream at him to get out and he didn’t know how to respond. We set up an experiment whereby he would go for a short walk around the block, whilst his partner calmed down. This seemed to work better than him trying to calm her down, as she would lash out.
But don’t think that arguing in a relationship is necessarily bad. Research has found that couples fall into 3 categories, those who enjoy arguing, those who go off and sulk, and those who negotiate. It’s only a problem when you get an arguer with a sulker, or a sulker with a negotiator etc. Work out what you are and find ways of communicating that won’t lead to conflict.
Call me or text “Assessment” to 07508 658934 or contact me for more information.
Next Article: Stress busting tip #8
Penny Ling is a widely experienced hypnotherapist who has worked with everyone from top executives to stroke victims since 2007. She has been editor of Hypnotherapy Today Magazine and is a supervisor and mentor for members of the AfSFH and NCH.
Read Penny’s inspiring story “How I beat all my phobias”, or find out more how hypnotherapy could help your problem by downloading “How Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help with life”. Feel free to send Penny a message here.
