- Label your feelings
By scanning the brain, neuroscientists have found that putting one’s emotions into words helped with dealing with those emotions. Participants viewing pictures of people showing emotions activate the amygdala in the brain. It’s the way we read other people’s emotional states. But when we are asked to name the emotion different part of the brain is activated. The ventrolateral prefrontal cortex is activated and at the same time the activity in the amygdala reduces. So in other words, naming the emotion can stop us feeling the emotion.
- Take a decision.
I often find in therapy that once one person has made a decision. It’s as if a weight is lifted from them. Neuroscience shows us that making decisions reduces worry and anxiety. The reason for this is because the part of the brain that deals with planning and setting goals – the prefrontal cortex – when it’s being used for making decisions, it’s calming the part of the brain that causes the anxiety. It doesn’t have to be the best decision, but often it’s enough for you to start that journey forward. Perfectionism will often cause more anxiety and the feeling of being out of control. It’s also shown that a feeling of control reduces the stress, but deciding on a choice boosts pleasure as it activates the reward system in the same way as a drug does.
- Feel grateful for what you have.
It may sound like a cliche, but the benefits of gratitude start with the dopamine system, because feeling grateful activates the brainstem region that produces dopamine. It can also boost serotonin, – just thinking of things you’re grateful for focuses your attention on the positive things in life, it makes you feel better. Gratefulness is a form of emotional intelligence that activates the ventromedial and the lateral prefrontal cortex in the brain. This creates a positive feedback loop when you’re showing gratitude to people you care about. The more gratefulness you show the happier you become. This also works when you’re helping other people either in charity work, or in volunteering.
- Allow yourself to be touchy-feely with friends and family.
You don’t want to do this with strangers as it can get you in a lot of trouble, but touch can boost the oxytocin in our brains and that makes us feel so much better. Even something as small as a handshake or a pat on the back are enough for it to be released. Touching is incredibly powerful. It increases team performance, can help make you more persuasive, and even increase your maths skills! Touching also reduces pain, and couples in a happy relationship will often feel less pain than those in a poor relationship or those who are single. In scans of those in good relationships, the brain showed reduced activation in the anterior cingulate cortex and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, so less activity in the worry and pain circuits.
So to summarise, hug someone today, be grateful, name those negative feelings and make those decisions and get on with life.