Saturday 10th September is world suicide prevention day, The World Health Organization WHO, estimates that one person every 40 seconds takes their life – that’s over 800,000 each year. But of course it effects many more. Friends and family members take years to get over the effects of suicide, and I am no different.
The friends of mine who did take their own lives could have been prevented if a) they had sort out help with the alcohol problems they had first, b) By telling someone – anyone how they felt and c) by the person they contacted that they were taking their own lives took them seriously. Not a day goes by without me thinking about them. Yes, they had contacted another person and told them they were going to kill themselves and the person did not believe them…
The reason people take their own lives is diverse. Those I knew were calling out for help, threatening to do something drastic, being too drunk to know when to stop. The reasons for this was mostly because their relationships had broken down and they could not go on.
Deeply saddened by the death of a close friend, I was able to support the others within our group to overcome the grief, but not everyone is lucky enough to have such a close-knit group. I see as a therapist around one person a year who are suffering the after effects of a friend, family member or colleague kill themselves.
The theme of this year is Connect, Communicate & Care.
These 3 c’s are so important, communication is vital as suicide is often shrouded in silence or spoken of only in hushed tones. It is a social taboo for older generations and within certain religions and cultures.
Social connectedness reduces the risk of suicide, those who have withdrawn and have isolated themselves are at greatest risk. We need to let someone tell their story in their own way, at their own pace, it is a great way of showing we care.
For those who do feel there is nothing left but to kill themselves I always suggest talking to The Samaritans. This fabulous group of volunteers are trained for this purpose and can help talk through the complex feelings you may be feeling. You could join with the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) to focus public attention on the unacceptable burden and costs of suicidal behaviour.
If you still feel bereaved by a loved one’s suicide then solution focused hypnotherapy can help come through those feelings and to grieve at a suitable pace, in a safe environment. Having lost a number of close friends I understand the feelings, the guilt, the grief, the recriminations, and loss that comes with the recovery.